So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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