never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
