I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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