He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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