Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
