Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
