I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
