Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize