Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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