piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize