I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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