He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
