Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize