just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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