Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
