i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
