Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
