"it" just moved
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
