I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
