Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
