I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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