You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
