Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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