I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
