She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you will always have a special place in my vag
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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