we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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