drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
