you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
