when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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