Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
