so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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