i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
