the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
