She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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