Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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