they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
