Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
