Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
