Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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