omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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