Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
