i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
