i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
