Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
