hotel room ftw
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
