dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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