He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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