U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
