His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
