ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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