Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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