id be glad to
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
