Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
