Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
