yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
