Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
