I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
