that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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