I smell stomach acid.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I would fuck him just for his dog
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