YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
